Now look here, guys. I was down at the medical labs yesterday checkin' out a stiff for a case I'm workin' on. It was a druggist who got killed by someone shovin' an icepick up his nose. A nasty sight. I gotta find out who did it. And why.

But that's another matter. The point is, they had a livin' brain there in a glass container...a fully functionin' brain that is bein' kept alive on life support inside a saline solution. This brain works. It can add 2 plus 2 and get four. It knows when to scratch an itch...but can't...because it's got no arms, see?

That brain needs a home. It needs a fresh and agreeable host that ain't got nothin' between the ears right now, see?

I am thinkin' that youse people here could all apply to BE that host! You all got the basic credentials: livin' body, no functionin' brains.

So, here's the deal. You all put yer names in the hat, so to speak. You all write in and volunteer to host the bodiless brain in Chicago. Either one of you wins big and gets the brain fulltime...or you could all share it on an equal but part time basis.

There's only about 4 or 5 of you bozos here who are dumb enough to merit this...with Amos and Rap definitely headin' up the line, needless to say, but I think you should look into it pronto. I will help make arrangements.

Move fast on this. Somebody else might get the same idea if you don't. This is yer chance to master some basic things like...knowin' when to talk and when to shut up...comin' in out of the rain...not buggin' people who might decide to kill you...peelin' the right end of the banana...tiein' yer shoelaces...wipin' yer nose...feedin' yerself when ya get hungry...the basics.

- Chongo

p.s. I don't want any money. I am doin' this outta the kindness of my heart, see?