"New Job"

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become
a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked
him how he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours
aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer
is always wrong."


-------

"Judge Not"

An eminent forensic psychiatrist was called to
testify in court. A severe no nonsense professional,
she sat down in the witness chair unaware that its
rear legs were set precariously on the back of the
raised platform.

"Will you state your name?" asked the district
attorney.

Tilting back in her chair, she opened her mouth
to answer but instead catapulted head-over-heels
backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and
recording equipment.

Everyone watched in stunned silence as she
extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress
and hair and reseated herself on the witness stand.
The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone
to so much as smirk.

"Well, Doctor," continued the district attorney
without changing expression, "perhaps if we
started with an easier question ..."