Point taken, 9. However—

Unless I'm mistaken (and look for it! GoofuS will leap on that phrase like a pit bull on a pork chop! He is such a simple and predictable soul!), I believe the standard follow-up of "Beam me up Scotty!" is "There's no intelligent life on this planet!"

And I try to keep my prose as simple and clear as possible, avoiding multisyllabic verbalization because I know that straining to understand literary sallies of that nature give GoofuS a severe case if mal de tête. I'm a kind and compassionate soul by nature, having been raised by a mother who always counseled me that I should be kind to dumb animals.

Yes, I think Bobert's suggestion about a community college definitely has merit.

Don Firth