The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #145235 Message #3360447
Posted By: Rapparee
07-Jun-12 - 09:36 AM
Thread Name: BS: Fun with explosives
Subject: RE: BS: Fun with explosives
I was sitting in the Crime Prevention Office of Detachment C, 5th Military Police Group (Criminal Investigation) one day when a Special Agent from the FBI dropped in.
This was not unusual because Paul Green, a retired MP colonel and The Boss, had friends in all walks of life, both high and low.
Anyway, we could tell this guy was working because he had a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. He set it on my desk, grabbed a cup of coffee, and greeted Paul.
"So," said Paul. "What breach of national security brings you here?"
"Top drawer stuff, just top drawer stuff," was the reply. "I'm investigating one of your boys (that is, someone at Ft. Carson, Colorado) from the 69th Brigade."
"Spying for the commies?" asked Paul.
"No. This guy apparently took an air burst simulator home and fired it off on the 4th of July."
In case you don't happen to know what it is, an air burst simulator simulates the air burst of an artillery shell. It's basically a VERY big firecracker that is propelled about a hundred feet into the air, where it explodes with a VERY loud sound. It's not particularly dangerous when used correctly.
"Uh-oh," said Paul. "Anyone hurt?"
"Nah," said the Agent, "he fired it up into the air and it did what it was supposed to do. Shook up some pigs, maybe, that's all. But a neighbor complained and so, three and a half months later, here I am."
He poured himself some more of our coffee and helped himself to one of our donuts.
"Yeah," he continued, "top drawer stuff for the FBI. Total cost to the government for the theft of a pyrotechnic device: seventy-nine cents. I haven't figured out the costs of my investigation but it's more than seventy-nine cents."
"Party on the Fourth?" Paul asked.
"You bet! And everyone had a good time and drank a lot of beer, from what I've found out. Except for the neighbor, of course. She wasn't invited." ------------
This is a true story, as near as I can remember it. Oh -- the "incident" happened on a 1,250 acre farm.