I have added some sealant to the shower where I removed the previous occupants' efforts. Mine is much neater and takes up less space, but I haven't tested it yet.

On Saturday, I cleared last year's celery bed and planted out some bought cabbage plants.

On Sunday, between 12.30 and 3.30, a pigeon ate most of the leaves and started on the peas. I used the pyracantha twigs I had trimmed from the neighbour's bush hanging over the fence to build a defence of the rest of the cabbage, and made a thicket of pea sticks around the pea plants.

This morning, the fat ****** pulled out the pyracantha and finished off the cabbage leaves. I took down the anti-cat trellis from the fence and built an arch over what was left in case it could recover.

I have been out to the garden centre and come back with more trellis, netting and spikes to hold it down, and some more plants.

This is war.

I am going to make a falcon silhouette and fly it from a string between my upstairs window and the back fence. When I can work out how to laminate it without a laminator. I think I have a roll of sticky backed plastic somewhere.

Our cherry farm is in a bad way. They can only employ a third of the usual pickers, and have had to get rid of the Portaloo, while putting up the price of the fruit to almost match the supermarkets Turkish and Spanish imports. And they can't be open every day, and pack up half way through. All down to the weather. And I have to guess when they are open.

Penny