Oh, yeah, the interstate highway system. Yeah, I forgot what a fantastic cultural contribution that was to the world. We didn't need all that woodland, fields and meadows anyway. Better to pave them over and pollute the air.

That ranks up there with our other great contribution to culture: gas-fracking. Who needs clean water when you can have natural gas right in your own backyard?

And freedoms--yes--can't forget what a bastion of freedom America was for black people and the Indians whose land we liberated from them. I mean, if those stupid, backward savages aren't going to gas-frack then it was up to us to show them how to get the job done--stupid bastards--they didn't deserve this land. We believe so much in freedom we locked up Japanese-Americans for the crime of being Japanese-Americans. Once the largest group of Asian-Americans in this country, they are now one of the smaller with their numbers deceasing every year since the internment. We believe so much in freedom that we invaded Iraq to free them from the tyranny of their oil reserves. We love freedom so much we abducted people without trial and sent them off to secret locations to be tortured and then ruled that our torture wasn't really torture so they have no right to sue us.

But what is that to landing on the moon? I have yet to see any benefit that came out of that (if we ever really did it which I doubt) but it proves America is great because...well I don't know why, it just does.

And let's not forget that great symbol of American freedom--the atom bomb! What a great day that was when we dropped two of them on a country that had already surrendered--whoops, I'm not supposed to say that--er, I mean, on a country of stupid slant-eyes who wouldn't surrender. And the rest of the world was so struck by our great humanity than none have ever dared to drop another on anybody no matter how evil we have pronounced them to be.

But I did serve this country for 6 years so I guess that gives me a right to be here. Maddening, isn't it?