From Vic Smith, in another thread:

Now, there's a good idea for a Mudcat thread - Bad Experiences at Gigs.

Where to start, eh?

Undoubtedly the worst gigs I've ever done have been weddings. I recall one particularly awful wedding at the Norfolk Hotel in Brighton. The to-be-married couple had liked us having seen us at a gig at the former Steamers Bar in the Metropole, so they booked us 6-piece soul band). Both bride and groom came from Irish families.

After an interminable wait in the bar while speeches finished - not unusual at weddings - we came on and played to total and absolute indifference from both families. We were asked to turn the music down. We turned down to the point of oblivion - and were still asked to turn it down. Eventually, we thought, "Fuck it!" and played at our usual volume. In the interval, canned Irish music was played - which was obviously what the people wanted in the first place.... The couple came up to pay us at the end and apologised profusely for their wedding guests - they said they'd enjoyed the music.

At the end of such experiences we always say, "Never again!" - until the next time...