I suppose they're made of potatoes. Difficult to tell really, as they are always flaccid, rather sad-looking and tastless. The burgers are apparently made with pink slime (worth looking up, but not before tea), and the fish is probably bleached offcuts of a cods arsecheeks.

Odd no-one has mentioned G4S, immigrant-'restraining', right up the backside of government firm who have not only lied to the hapless Theresa May but also are now going to cost us a packet in soldiers and coppers being sent in to do the job instead.