Okay. Let's say I had you in a headlock right now, Bobertz. Just theoretically. Here's the scene: With my free hand I'm poundin' on yer lumpy noggin. I'm also rammin' yer thick skull into a nice solid oak doorframe. With my free foot I'm clampin' down on yer little coconuts so hard it's makin' yer eyes bulge right outta yer head. (We chimps are quadridextrous...it's like we got 4 hands to fight with.)

If I had a tail, I could use it to strangle you right now, givin' me 5 hands to fight with! But I don't have a tail. And do you know why? Because I am not a monkey. Monkeys have tails. Apes don't. I am an ape. I don't have a tail.

Got that? I'll say it reeeeeeaaal slow, so you get it right.

I.....am....an...ape. That's A-P-E. Ape.

Understand now? Anyways, apes got basically 4 really strong hands that they can kill you with, plus a whole buncha really strong teeth. Don't mess with us, Bobertz, and don't call us "monkeys" cos it'll ruin yer whole day and yer poor relatives will hafta bury you in several pieces.

Oh, and while I'm squeezin' the life outta you, Bobertz, I will probably be askin' you one little question.

"You still feelin' like you are the superior race? Well???"

- Chongo