England has never held it against you if you've got a funny accent.

We have these people called traditional folksingers who sing in ever such strange voices. Of course, no one much listens to them - but I've never heard of them being discriminated against - made to sit at the back of the bus, nothing like that.

As for the Normans - all is forgiven and forgotten in the mists of time. And they don't hold Robin Hood and Kevin Costner against us. No denying - they got a bad press at the time - and they've cluttered up England with churches. But we've had time to get over the trauma.

10 nice things about the French

1) They gave Oscar Wilde a home when England was beastly to him.
2) They work hard at making cheese - over two hundred different kinds. One day they'll get round to cheddar.
3) French knickers
4) French kissing
5) Pernod
6) Lots of artists live there - Picasso and Van Gogh - so it must have have something.
7) The French people (and the Dutch) were nice to my Dad when he drove a tank across their countries in in 1944.
8) Samois - the best guitar music festival in the world.
9) French films - A bout de souffle
10) Charles Trenet - La mer
11) English songs about France - Wizz Jones National Seven and Ralph McTell's Grande Affaire.