I have proof that Man Utd exist. We beat them in the league cup final in 1991. I was there, I saw the great one (John Sheridan) with my own eyes brother!

Anyway someone once said that before you can believe in God you have to understand the concept. So, an American making a claim about football? No basis. A bit like me saying something about your version of rounders or that game with body armour, rugby balls and advert breaks.

If you ever do understand football, we'll let you start watching cricket. Maybe start with 20/20 and after a few years, a test match.