Several times I have been mistaken for Little Hawk. I have been accosted by various drunken louts, attacked by giant hamsters, berated by what I can only describe as wannabee-poshes from England, and shot at by a chimpanzee in a pin-stripe suit who was wearing a fedora and had a tommy gun in one hand, a bottle of cheap whiskey in another and a foot around some blonde floozie. My life has been a series of nightmares, each worse than the last, until yesterday, while I was strolling quietly home from church, I realized the True Meaning And Purpose Of Life and how it can be attained. Needless to say I fled down the corridors of time, tried to shelter myself in the odd nooks and crannies of the Rock of Ages, crossed the Bifrost Bridge (annoying not a few Valkyries along the way), and found myself sitting lotus at the Top of the Mountain.

Please don't mistake me for Liiiiiiittttttttlllllleeeeeeeeeee Haaaawwwwwkkkkk!