I was suicidal for a number of years. The only actual thing I know of that turned it around for me was making a choice. I even played the game of 'Act as if:' Act as if I'm happy, act as if I'm poised, act as if I like him or her, you get the idea. (Sometimes I still do that one, mainly because it works!) I remember the moment when I realized that my life had become not only bearable but downright interesting and enjoyable. A lot of it had to do with the sudden realization that I had as much right to be here on this earth as anyone else, that we'd all got here the same way. All my life I had felt embarrassed to be here.

Mind you, I don't think I was suffering from clinical depression- I was chronically depressed to the point where I was afraid that if I started crying I might never stop but my depression had focal points and was not an all-pervasive blanket. Other than what I've read, I know nothing about cd but I sure hope that very soon clinical depression will be easily and swiftly successfully treated, because it certainly sounds like a chemical imbalance.

In my case, I tell people now that I've tried being happy and I've tried being sad- and I prefer happy. So I'm happy, simple minded as it sounds.

I don't know what the answers are- wish I did. But do please bear in mind that I feel for you, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that reaction.

Ebbie