Yes, I have had one of those lives....things are a bit better now. My suggestion to you (which is also WW's suggestion) is that you find a very close friend you can talk to about such things and everytime you hear the siren's call, call that friend. It will save you. Deb, my girlfriend, made me promise her that I'd call her if I ever felt that way again (after an episode I told her about), and it works, it forces you to actually think about what you're doing instead of letting your emotions rule.

Amergin