Dear Miss Lovee,

please disregard any and all feeble chat up lines from my crazed and somewhat above-himself cat. We call him Pie because he is round, crusty and full of meat and gravy.He has the intelligence of an underachieving door knob, the charm of a pre-lanced boil and the manners and delicacy of Attila the Hun.Furthermore, he does not have the pre-requisite 'assets' normally associated with those who are romantically inclined. We love him dearly but cheerfully admit that is about our poor taste, not his personal charisma, of which he has none.I would venture to suggest that you do not take him up on any offers he might make to you because, as well as being a stranger to the truth, he is well-known as having run up considerable milk bills all over town. I hope the move is going well....please remind your mommy to check all boxes before sealing as that is no way for a Princess to travel and is likely to induce motion -sickness and other unfortunate mishaps.