There seems to be a bit of a dichotomy here.
The thread started as "learning to play by ear", but seems to have got mired between playing and learning.
Personally, I can't read the dots (or golf sticks, as we Paddy sophisticates say) so I've learned everything by ear.
In sessions, surely, virtually everybody PLAYS by ear.
As Sir Thomas Beecham said (the British) don't know much about music, but they love the noise it makes".
Surely if one's rendition suits the environment it's played in, all the other arguments are just sophistry - and an opportunity to do a little soap-box oratory by those who feel that their opinions somehow matter.
Go out and play the way you're comfy with - anybody who doesn't like it will (I'm sure, politely), tell you the perceived error of your ways.