Skeptical Nemesis, born in Brandywine, Maine in 1786, terrorized the traders of the SPanish Main, the coast of High Barbary, and the Lowlands Low in his 24-gun ship The Flaming Irrelevant. Skippers of every nation were known to quake when the Irrelevancy was reported on the horizon. Nemesis was known for the peculiar habit of wedging matchsticks between his teeth and lighting them just before he went into battle. He died of complications of ulceration of the tongue before he could be brought to less poetic justice.