When I encounter a song, one thing I ask myself is, "Do I want to dignify its attitudes by singing it?" Because dignifying those attitudes help spread them. If I don't like the attitudes, I don't sing the song.

Take the first verse of this one:

O Peggy Gordon, You are my darling
Come sit you down upon my knee
And tell to me the very reason
Why I am slighted so by thee.

She isn't attracted to him, doesn't want to get involved. Yet he demands that she get cozy and justify herself. Experience tells me that anything she says will be wrong and will provoke argument and blame.

Ages ago, when I was younger, slimmer, prettier and (most of all) had a good-paying job, men I hardly knew would put me in this position. I was supposed to explain why I didn't want to date a man I hardly knew and felt no attraction for. This can be frightening, ya know?

Finally I thought of a way to handle it. I invented an imaginary boyfriend who had a prior claim. Every time, when the imaginary boyfriend was mentioned, the unwanted suitor slinked away.


Do y'all have daughters and granddaughters in my position? Tell them about the imaginary boyfriend technique.