I think that I shall write a dissertation. I'm certain that my research is the first in the area and it's just as exciting as any other PhD dissertation and perhaps more so.

It shall be entitled

On the Use of the Sap or Slapjack in the Assembly and Disassembly of the US Pistol, Caliber .45, M1911A1, With Notes on the Use of the Oxy-Acetylene Torch During the Same.

It's P as H and D as anything else.