Dear Chonga,

I'm forwarding this for a friend of mine who is too damned shy to write you under his own MC name. Here is his message, as I scanned it in from his email to me:

Dear Chongo,

I live in a small coastal town in Southern California and squat, ugly, dirty, hairy, male chimps really excite me. I really get excited by ones from Chicago who have big guns, if you understand what I'm saying, and who like to smoke "cigars." I'm into the "rough trade" too. Since you are a Chicago chimp who's tough and rough and dirty and filthy and "smokes cigars" and has a big gun, I thought you might know someone who would like a good time with a guitar player from Southern California. I'd plunk YOU G-string, you know.

Sincerely yours,
"A"

And not, I did NOT write that piece of trash!!!