For the sake of everyone's sanity, I feel that my participation, if any, should be in a bull mask, singing the Incredible String Band's "Minotaur Song".

Being the possessor of more stones than most, I could live with being measured in quarters (28lbs) or even hundredweights (112lbs), but only if I can have my age in hexadecimal - base 16 is so age-friendly!

I'm game for the calendar, in bull-mask and sporting a strategically-placed bass balalaika.

But who would buy?