Oooh! Just a few comments on the rejection notices. >It was unclear to us why we would need two leaders >permanently in the forms of the Prime Minister and the >Queen. Also, we had a problem with Tony Blair >personally, as he is so overtly stupid. >

The Queen is the Head of State and not our 'leader'. She actually comes a lot cheaper then a President would and we don't have to reelect her avery 4 years. We'll agree about TB if you throw in hypocriticals and non-U.

>we don't sound like pompous asses.

But you're learning fast.

>5) Hollywood actually attempted to cast British actors >in heroic roles in the late 80's, but gave up when they >could find none that were more masculine then Liberace.

Not even Glenda Jackson?

>Additionally, when the "games" are completed, the >tradition of trying to kill as many opposing fans as >possible was deemed unacceptable.

I think you're confusing the sport with the pre-match entertainment.

>You don't need padding for a girly slap fight.

You don't need padding if you're quick enough to avoid your opponents and are used to regular beatings with canes and wet towels.

And...

>3. If you want English actors as good guys, then make > >your own movies. We would if you'd send some of the buggers back. Especially Catherine Zeta-Jones. Is she really going out with him?

>4. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that >changes whenever your monarch dies. I think we can cope with one word every 30 or so years. Can't you?

> Let's not forget that your national anthem has an >extremely boring tune. But at least our pop stars would be able to sing the tune at football matches if we did that sort of thing.

>We suggest switching to that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. We'd love to but it's a bit to patriotic for our tastes. I think a lot of us would prefer "Jerusalem".

> Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy >beans, warm beer, and spotted dick.

A nation that brews beer from rice has no business complaining about the temperature its served at.

>Thank you for you time. You can now return to watching >bad Australian soap operas.

As soon as we can forget about "Quincy", "Petrocelli" (did he ever finish that wall?) and "Colombo".

Long may our Special (mis)Understanding continue.

I meant it about Catherine Zeta-Jones!