Our neighbor whose wife recently passed showed us the pile of cards he'd received, that he has not yet opened-- just too painful, and not yet a comfort. I also have a pile of cards, from my surgery and nursing home days... and another from when my mom passed last year.

I did look at each of these at the time they arrived, and then I saved them for a "rainy day." So now it's time to unpack that last round of nursing home stuff. The cards have been calling me.... it took me a long time to decide what to do with them.

So I wrote a-pager on the computer, thanking the sender and giving an update on how I am doing (they're still praying, and cards still arrive, TBTG!). It includes a thumbnail Hardi had taken of me waving from the ramp.

I found some nice prayer/note cards up in my office, and got them (and their envelopes) organized... I pre-folded all the 1-pagers... I decided I did not like what I had written and did them over... I put all this in the container that HAD held the cards, right by the front door.

So now, I keep all the wonderful get-well cards I'd received, out at the head of the ramp, in a weather-resistant container. As I enjoy the precious fresh air (even when it's COLD), I review one card when I finish each set of ramp-laps. As I look at each card again, I am motivated to keep this recovery phase up-- and most important, to remember that it is God who is doing the healing.

Then that one card comes in; I write the thank-you note, enclose the 1-pager, address the envelope, add the address to my parish directory if it's not in there, and discard the envelope. The card goes in the stairwell to go up to my office where I have pinboards of the good thoughts people send me.

Up in the office sits the box of cards from when my mom passed. I suspect that, about the time my first birthday without her rolls around, I will have finished the set of cards that are out on the ramp. I can then start going thru the condolence cards again, and keep up that habit of the notes. (I have always been SO BAD about notes!!!)

I love the circularity of it all.... the day before she died I called her about the Dx that sparked the surgery she had known I would eventually do. As I move forward with LIFE I often hear her egging me on.

I am beginning a major downsizing process so that when Hardi retires (he hain't set a date and it's years off), we can move smoothly into the little teensy house of my dreams that I will be able to care for myself. That house will have such a tiny office that by then, I will not have the pinboards-full of cards-- but photos of the pinboards as they evolved-- snapping a fresh one every time I take down stuff to make room for new memories.

~S~