Never having met a rich and beautiful female nymphomaniac who owned a string of liquor stores and adored the ground I trod (the dream of my long-ago youth), I married Pat forty years ago this coming October. It wasn't a mistake at all.

While I believe that any instrument is better than none and that the trumpet is the apogee, the pinnacle, the ne plus ultra of musical instruments, I have to say that toilet paper over a comb beats a guitar all hollow.