Nigel- It is your and Ann's time, Jane's husband's and childrens' time- of grieving. Feel what you feel, express that which you can express, and remember that there are many friends thinking of you all.

My grandmother outlived six of her nine children. "It's not supposed to be like this!" she said. She found ways to remember them while continuing to find joy in her life. You can too.

Make some music. It doesn't have to be beautiful or complete or be shared with anyone else. Hug Ann as often as possible. Focus on your breathing, on the world's beauty, on those who love you. Appreciate the depth and range of your emotions. Speak your love.