The goal, when I stand beside myself and look at the process, seems to manifest in a search for an all-in-one that Art can use on his lap. There isn't such a thing. :) All-in-one computers that sit on desk tops and take up more space than a laptop and aren't portable have the larger screens, well over 20". The largest touch screen laptop that I can find right now is the 15.6" variety.

Here are the basic specs on the machine that comes out on top when comparing all of the various features we've identified for Art:

Sony
http://store.sony.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10551&storeId=10151&langId=-1&productId=8198552921666519995#specifications

VAIO T Series Touch Ultrabook ($949.99)
Model number: SVT15112CXS
15.5" full HD touch display
Dual Core 1.80GHz
Optical drive: CD/DVD player/burner
Win8 / 64 Bit
24GB Solid state drive (This means it starts in seconds)
Ethernet/WiFi/Bluetooth (he can use a data cord or WiFi)
Screen size 15.5" (1920 x 1080)
Webcam 1.3MP
USB 3.0: 1 (charge) does this mean it charges via this port? Must check.
USB 2.0: 2
Storage Type : Serial ATA Hybrid
Storage Capacity : 750GB + 24GB Hybrid4
Storage Technology : 5400rpm Hybrid
5.2 pounds
Free shipping

In this search I've found some other very good machines out there with slightly different mixes of components. I'll save those to post later so I don't confuse people too much. Unless someone has something really damning to say about this machine and/or Sony (customer service, reliability, etc.) I think we've found The One.

SRS