A TRANSPORT OF DELIGHT
As sung by Flanders & Swann on "At the Drop of a Hat" and several other albums.

Some people like a motorbike; some say: "A tram for me,"
Or for bonnie Army Lorry they'd lay them down and dee.
Such means of locomotion seem rather dull to us,
The driver and conductor of a London omnibus.

Hold very tight, please! Ting-ting!
Hold very tight, please! Ting-ting!

When you are lost in London and you don't know where you are,
You'll hear my voice a-calling: "Move further down the car!"
And very soon you'll find yourself inside the terminus
In a London Transport, diesel-engine,
Ninety-seven-horsepower omnibus.

Along the queen's great highway I drive my merry load
At twenty miles per hour in the middle of the road.
We like to drive in convoys; we're most gregarious,
The big six-wheeler, scarlet-painted,
London Transport, diesel-engine,
Ninety-seven-horsepower omnibus.

Earth has not anything to show more fair.
Mind the stairs! Mind the stairs! Mind the stairs!
Earth has not anything to show more fair.
Any more fares? Any more fares? Any more fares? Any more fares?

When cabbies try to pass me, before they overtakes,
I sticks me flippin' hand out and I jams on all me brakes.
Them jackal taxi drivers can only swear and cuss,
Behind that monarch of the road,
Observer of the highway code,
That big six-wheeler, scarlet-painted,
London Transport, diesel-engine,
Ninety-seven-horsepower omnibus.

I stops when I'm requested, although it spoils the ride,
So we can shout: "Get out of it! We're full right up inside."
We don't ask much for wages; we only want fair shares,
So cut down all the stages and stick up all the fares.
If tickets cost a pound apiece, why should you make a fuss?
It's worth it just to ride inside
A twenty-foot long by ten-foot wide,
Inside that monarch of the road,
Observer of the highway code,
That big six-wheeler, scarlet-painted,
London Transport, diesel-engine,
Ninety-seven-horsepower,
Ninety-seven-horsepower omnibus.
Hold very tight, please!