"English Bagel"

"Hello Mrs. Miller," said the bearded guy
behind the counter at the bagel shop.

My husband and I looked at him but drew
complete blanks. "I'm sorry, do we know
each other?" I asked.

"Yeah, you was my English teacher."

Leaning over, my husband whispered,
"Good job, Honey, good job."


"Gud Speling"

Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good
spelling. So, when an associate e-mailed
technical documents asking me to "decifer"
them, I had to set him straight.

I wrote, "Decipher is spelled with a ph, not
an f. In case you've forgotten, spell checker
comes free with your software."

A minute later, I got this reply, "Mine must be
dephective."