As for the Constipated men.... CHORUS
There were five (five) constipated men
in the Bible, in the Bible.
There were five (five) constipated men
in the holy books of Moses.

And the first (first)constipated man,
It was Cain - he wasn't Abel
And the first (first)constipated man,
It was Cain - he was not Abel

And the second (second) constipated man
It was Balaam - he couldn't move his ass.
etc.......

3rd - Solomon - He sat for forty years.

4th - Samson - he brought the house down

5th Moses - he took the tablets.

I have happened across a couple of different varants in how it is rendered and theological discussions of who's Ass would not move, but you get the drift!
GtD.