Well, I'm flying away tomorrow and I won't be able to donate much because I'm in a bit of a rush. Probably won't be able to do much until the 16th, in fact. I think that's Thursday. But I also have to go see my cousin that day.

My cousin is the one who, with his friend Jeff, was out deer hunting some years back -- bow hunting, in fact. They'd been up in trees since around 4 a.m. and here it was getting on to 10 so they decided to come down and have some coffee. They got to the truck, put the bows and arrows aside, sat on the tailgate and had some coffee and a sandwich. Pretty soon my cousin says that he has to exercise peristalsis, so he wanders off with a roll of toilet paper, finds a nice log the right height, pulls down his trousers (they don't wear pants back there), and just as he begins a LARGE buck deer steps out of the woods.

Now my cousin is anointed with a product call "Doe In Heat" and this buck deer is obviously interested. Cousin drops the TP and starts to run back to the truck, pulling up his clothing on the way and yelling, "Jeff! Jeff! Shoot it! Shoot it!" Meanwhile Jeff is looking around for his ass, which fell off while he was laughing.

They both spent a couple hours clinging to tree branches while the frustrated buck stomped around below. The buck stomped their bows and even got into the truck and pretty much trashed it. Then it marked the truck as its personal territory and left in pursuit of a more amiable doe in heat.

My cousin doesn't like that story to be told, but Jeff will vouch for it as will everyone in my family and we all tell the absolute and exact truth.