OK, so I really like beer and pizza and Canadian whisky and red meat. And I admit that I don't get enough sleep, or enough exercise. And yeah, I probably should lose at least thirty pounds.

But hey, I AM very active, and I eat lots of vegetables, and I go on hikes but not as often as I used to. So, yeah, I don't think I live a life that's THAT unhealthy.

The alarm clock, however, rang Monday. I've been kinda numb on the left side of my body all week, with occasional slurred speech and a numb circle around my mouth that feels like I just got out of the dentist's chair. And I went to the doctor today (Thursday), and he says I should have been there Monday. And he sent me for tests that show there's lots of gunk in my arteries. So, he's thinking it was a stroke or at least a TIA.

So, I guess all this means I'm going to have to end my decrepit life and live more virtuously, and it doesn't sound like fun at all. Already, somebody jumped on me and told me I need to do Gerson Therapy, which involves drinking juicified grasses and taking coffee enemas. I'm sure others will flood me with all kinds of weird diets and procedures. But hey, I don't believe in miracles. And I don't believe in Health Gurus. My lovely wife believes in all those things and has a lifestyle akin to that of the Virgin Mary, but she doesn't seem a whole lot healthier than I am.

So, what can I do to lose weight and lose the gunk in my veins, that's practical and reasonable and not overly obsessive-compulsive? What I need are times for somebody who's lazy about his health and not a believer in miracle cures.

Help!!! I want to keep living, but I still want to have fun doing it!!

And as for the coffee enemas, No, thank you, Sir!!!

-Joe-