Widnes works for me, Co-Messiah. The REALLY bad could go to Ellesmere Port though and gaze with longing on Port Sunlight. Without wishing to preempt your commandments, Oh Mighty Bingo Caller who art in Heaven (Kirkby Lonsdale on a spring morning maybe?), can I begin on the Toerag. The acolytes, or seeing as it is lighting worship should that be electrolytes? Anyway, the acolytes need guidance. I thought I would start what I mentioned earlier.

Lightning Balls are the fundamental tenet of our faith. No other lightning or balls shall be tolerated. All other lighting shall be dismissed and all other balls cut off.

Should any of the faithful become possessed by demons, lesser Gods or the Police on returning from Holy Bingo on a Sunday with too much apricot wine inside, then the exorcism shall be performed by mighty Exocet, who shall purge all such evils from them.

How am I doing so far?

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS

Whose Grandad WAS a Cossack in a Cassock and, quite possibly, of unclean habits.