There are people working behind the scenes to keep George Zimmerman out of jail. He's got some good buddies in his neighborhood I've noticed. Send him up here. We'll try and convict him. In my town, we don't allow vigilantes. Our neighborhood watch people call the police and report suspicious behavior only. Our police actually have a good relationship with the community and will actually respond to multiple complaints from residents trying to clean up their neighborhoods.

Of course, I'm lying about all this. My friend Nick wrote a song called "The Cops in My Town", and it went something like this:

The cops in my town will squeeze your nuts
And they won't put up with up with no ifs or ands and especially no buts
Especially no buts

They get their sleep on the top floor of the parking garage
....................................................................
And their cars you cannot dodge
Their cars you cannot dodge

That's all I remember. Wish I had written it down.

Anyway, the parking garage bit was a reference to one of our senior officers who brought a lounge chair and an alarm clock to the parking garage to get a bit of shut-eye before calling in. Of course, one time he slept through and everybody found out.

And in case you are wondering what happened to the pair of young officers who decided to get even with the local newspaper for anti-cop press by getting drunk as skunks and whipping golf balls at the newspaper office. One made detective and the other just became our new police chief.

Folks, you can't make this stuff up.

Here's to you George Wannabe. I hope you must pay for taking that boy's life. You had no business freaking him out in the first place.