Shut yer cake 'ole, Ed, you stupid git! I'll 'ave you know that Bertie Lawless is a man. 'E's not much of a man, mind, but 'e is a man. 'E's a rich young toff wot 'angs around wif upper class wastrels loik 'imself, seducin' the domestic staff and buggerin' each other on the side, I wouldn't doubt. A bunch of flymin' perverts and idle rotters livin' on the backs of good workin' folk loik me and me 'usband Eddie, 'oo is fymous all over the Midlands because 'e weighs 55 and a half stone and is the largest sitting object in Great Britain. If Bertie Lawless dares to insult me, I will 'ave Eddie sit on 'im and that will be the end of Bertie Lawless!

- Olive Whatnoll