Knott End? Why, the last time I caught the ferry to Knott End it cost me sixpence! Id est, a tanner! Had I been the Messiah in those days I'd have built a causeway across. Or created one, even. OK, so this "Lil" of yours is an alleged Lancashire lass. But does she wear Primark knickers (8-pack versions for five quid - I love 'em...), and does she use bog roll or her bare hand? Don't get me wrong on this one: I'm not the suspicious type, but after the mass food-poisoning Swollox outbreak (aka the unintentional consumption of raw infected shite by 200 people in a bingo hall) one does have to delve a little into one's preferred person's credentials innit.

As for Hull, as I understand things you have far fewer "women" than you think. The last person I spoke to who had been to Hull (an ex-Tory MP just released from jail), Hull is a place where the men are men and so are three-quarters of the women. A bit like wherever Wacko lives, really, only in reverse.