How about we include a diet club in our religion?

Uncannily, Dave, you almost read my mind there (impossible, obviously, so let's just say "coincidence", shall we?). I am in the latter stages of instituting a set of dietary rules. After all, the British Israelites don't allow their followers to eat anything from a pig (filthy animals), or mushrooms (they digest and absorb shit), filter-feeding seafood such as prawns (too undiscriminating about what they suck in) or strawberries (because they bear seeds on the outside of the fruit - they don't, actually, as the fruit is the little pips on the outside, not the big juicy bit, but don't tell the wankers that). But don't worry. I am the Messiah and it just happens that I like all food except for apple sauce, which is the sour slop of the divil himself. Therefore I am issuing a dictat that apple sauce may not be consumed between three and four a.m. on a Friday and that raccoon flesh is taboo unless the beast was killed strictly according to Regulation 472 sub-paragraph 10 section 1.5 on page 1376 of Shaw's Atheology Volume The First. Unless it's Tuesday. I know these regulations may seem heavy-handed to some and complicated to follow but I do feel that followers of the New Truth must pledge to make these onerous sacrifices in order to demonstrate their allegiance (we need their money as well, so no benefit claimants please). And buy our new medallion depicting Wacko walking the plank (or is it yanking the plank), obtainable on eBay with free delivery for £1.49 VAT inc. (thanks for that, concerened: we know who you are!)

What's our thinking on women without bank accounts?