If we're going to re-enact Child Ballads then I would like to nominate Child Owlet (291).

Some said, Child Owlet he should hang,
Some said that he should burn,
Some said they would hae Child Owlet
Between wild horses torn.

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There was nae stane on Elkin muir,
Nor broom nor bonny whin,
But drappit wi' Child Owlet's blood
And pieces of his skin.

That should give the Blitherscrum Argot something to think about. They've been looking for a reason to ban us for years.