Ignore that Matthew Edwards! He is an impostor and a charlatan who is trying to upstage me and do me out of the acclaim and the royalties, which are rightfuly mine, and force me to spend the rest of my life in utter penury drinking half pints in the Belvidere and singing with my hand over my ear.

Anyway Matthew Edwards only ever wrote one decent song in his life; that one about the NHS, and I'd have written it if I'd thought of it first.

Yours Sincerely,

Gorgeous George, sorry, Speedy George.