Didn't want to post this until the requested song had been found (sure I've heard someone sing it somewhere!)

There was a BBC news report a few years back of this cheeky bird:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east/6907994.stm

And see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4wkWTUm6ac


So I wrote a song about it: goes to a sort of calypso tune:

THE FEATHERED FELON                        

There's a lonely seagull in Aiberdeen toon,
He struts in the square baith up and doon
But there's ony ain thocht in his mind aroon
Tae steal some tangy cheese Doritos,
Doritos, Doritos, tae steal some tangy cheese Doritos (rep)

So he walks in the shop jist as bold as brass
And he thinks tae himsel', "This'll be a gas,
I'll be oot o' here afore they kick my ass
Wi' ma tangy cheese Doritos.
Doritos, Doritos, wi' ma tangy cheese Doritos. (rep)

And up he walks tae the bricht display
O' crisps o' a' sorts in the metal tray
And he grabs a bag and he's on his way
Wi' his tangy cheese Doritos,
Doritos, Doritos, wi' his tangy cheese Doritos. (rep)

And he comes in the shop every day at three,
He's never been bothered by CCTV,
So long as he can get awa' for free
Wi' his tangy cheese Doritos,
Doritos, Doritos, wi' his tangy cheese Doritos. (rep)

No, there's no other flavour would ever do,
Not chilli heatwave nor BBQ,
'Cos he loves that bricht orange bag, it's true,
Just has tae be tangy cheese Doritos,
Doritos, Doritos, just has tae be tangy cheese Doritos. (rep)

And oot in the square he drops the bag on the deck,
And he slices it open wi' one quick peck,
And he downs them all just as fast as heck,
A' they tangy cheese Doritos,
Doritos, Doritos, a' they tangy cheese Doritos. (rep)

And that cheeky seagull's never known tae pay,
So they ca'ed the Polis and the SSPCA,
When they tried tae arrest him, .............he jist flew away,
Fu' o' Tangy cheese Doritos,
Doritos, Doritos, fu' o' tangy cheese Doritos. (rep)