"Next time that happens, why don't you just delete the post ..."

This used to be tried by Joe and several other mods.... and the practical side of this was that because being a mod is a part time volunteer job, it became impossible to keep up and apply all the "rules" totally fairly across the board.

The mods were (and still are) human, and it was NOT easy to define the "rules" in a way that ensured that editing and deleting would please everyone. I have read many of the threads where persons A & B were sure THEY had been insulted first..(like kids in the back seat.."Daddy, he hit me first!".."Well, he was making faces at me...")

What can even the most honest, dedicated, 'neutral' mod do? Delete every trace of the dispute? In many cases, that would make even reasonable debate disappear and make the flow of the discussion confusing. But.... if the mods 'edit selectively', you always end up with the claim that they are "favoring their friends", even though it was often not clear who did the editing! NO ONE seems to think their own posts are offensive! (Oh.. a few exceptions)

Joe got tired of it all.. and had better things to do with his time... and Jeri just made HER position pretty clear above!

Max made a point a few years ago when he said (paraphrased): "It's my job to keep the forum running... your job is to make it (something like 'fun/sane/fair/decent')." I wish I could find the thread.

If your basic attitude is: "NO ONE gets away with calling ME names or insulting MY sacred cows or mis-stating the political/religious/cultural truths *I* hold dear!".... then, you will be challenged by someone with a different set of those.
Now... some treat the 'hot' debates...(insults and all)... as a game, like Bobert's thread on "playing the dozens". They let insults roll off like water off a duck. They revel in being able to be snidely erudite and creatively cutting and giving up and the very idea of letting their opponent **horrors** have the last word is unthinkable!
Some, however, take nastiness & insults personally and find such debates detract and demean the entire purpose of being here. They are told, "well, you don't have to open the thread!".... as if that solves the problem. In the threads about our recently departed friend, herself a mod who did as well as any at being 'fair', there are dozens of notes saying "I don't come in here much anymore.." I miss many of those folks.

Me? I debate... I discuss...and I have been here since Nov. of 1996! (I actually used to answer music questions, but now there are SO many who know more than me) And I don't think I have EVER called anyone an a*****e or similar thing. I argue.. I dispute.... but I dispute IDEAS and critique facts and reasoning, not individuals qua individuals. Only a couple times in many years have I had to totally stop responding to anyone because they hurled direct insults at me.(ummm ...tempted a few more times? yeah...)

Because Mudcat IS a **community** there are things that happen like in a family, a church, a school, a neighborhood...etc. that are awkward, hateful, stupid... as well as loving, helpful, friendly, funny, happy and amazingly insightful!
I shall try to emphasize the last part of that sentence... and I ain't goin' nowhere.