It was a strange weekend...I had so much to do on Saturday starting with going to the Portsmouth Farmers' Market to pick up my CSA share. The market is at the top of a steep hill, in the parking lot in front of City Hall (which used to be the old hospital). Last time I was there (two weeks ago), I parked in the lower lot of city hall. There are stairs up to the market level. But that lot is cramped and, quite honestly, dangerous. I almost ran a woman over (she was standing behind my car) while trying to not get hit by a car coming around the corner. So, this week I parked across the street at the lot by the mill pond and walked up the sidewalk up the hill to the market level. In the full sun. While watching people and dogs lounging in the shade of a few trees.

I realized exactly how out of shape I am. I need to start daily walking again on MY road -- there are several good hills for a good workout without going too far. You'd think that all the to-ing and fro-ing I do around the house to get or do things for Tom, and dodging Tom's wheelchair, and going up and down the stairs (not to mention the hacking down brush on a slope and pulling thorn bushes on uneven footing) would count, but evidently it doesn't.

Yesterday, I was just...off. Couldn't get out of my own way. No energy. No ambition. Should have made pesto. Didn't. Tom wanted me to make chicken cutlets and risotto Milanese...no way. Had all I could do to run to the pharmacy to pick up his meds. I got stuff done (including dragging the leaf litter and branches already raked onto a tarp over to the compost area), but didn't feel as if I had.

What a difference this morning! I knocked off a whole pile o' stuff on my list (including phone calls about billing; ugh!), made a nice lunch, got Tom to his podiatrist appointment, made pesto, and made breaded chicken cutlets and risotto Milanese (for the first time!) for supper. Also got some emails sent out and some local history garnered. And started Dennis Robinson's (local historian) book on Strawbery Banke Museum (as well as the settlement known as Strawberry Bank which turned into Portsmouth, New Hampshire).

Stilly, it sounds as if you want to stop doing these threads. I, for one, would very much like to see them continue. This is my support group. I find I really need to be able to share inspiring days, dragged down days, get encouraging words when I need them, and encourage anyone else who needs it. There are some good ideas and information shared as well. Sometimes, too, I just need to talk about the frustrations of caregiving and my general burntoutedness (shell shock / battle fatigue / PTSD) after dealing with DHHS and Medicaid. Or what I'm accomplishing with my archives. And I feel closer to everyone on this thread than I did before, through all the other Mudcat threads, including the ones on Tom's health.

Just my two cents' worth...

(And, yeah, I'm still coming to grips with losing Katlaughing...

Linn