We all heard the story of Micca and the tube of Savlon on Thursday night (sounds like it should have been written by Enid Blyton or JK Rowlings.... Five stick with KY Jelly.... nah!), let that be a lesson to you!

Oh, and never use Deep Heat (presumably the same as Fiery Jack - hot, penetrating muscle rub) as toothpaste. Aged 4, tall enough to reach the bathroom shelf, but still unable to read, mistook one for the other.... can never be in the same room again, as even one whiff of it makes me heave stupendously and instantaneously...... even the memory is making me.... excuse me....

LTS