Next you'll be telling us that the turtle was straddling you, beating the crap out of you, MMA style, and you reached up and shot him. He put his head into his shell, and you took it as a 'hoodie'...Hey, and aren't you a bit discriminating?..You seem to draw a line between...wait, I'll quote you,: "I picked the turtle... This, BTW, wasn't a water turtle or a box turtle... This was a hug snapping turtle..."
People like you SHOULDN'T have guns...just like Firth shouldn't be a political 'activist' (rolls eyes), telling people how to raise their families, and what's good for the community of broken homes!
I'll say one thing, since you've been so buddy buddy with him, now even you are starting to make up new stories!

So, between you, the shooter of turtles, and Don, the erudite family/community planner, I've came up with a most apropos little tune.... Froth and the Robot

Enjoy!!!

GfS