Thanks all.

Just wondering-- now that this thread, like too many I am in, has been hijacked:

How many times do you really expect my husband to put up with coming home and finding me flat out because of Mudcat? How many times do you expect him to mop up the tears and hang on tight for the shakes, just so YOU can have me here again? How many times do you think I will give time that should be his, to this, excuse me, cycle of shittiness?

And when do we shake the dust off our feet and withdraw our blessing from the house?

I'll tell you this much. I have NO idea why I came back to look at this thread once more. If I knew that, I think I'd deal with all this a whole lot better.

And why all this outpouring of warm fuzzies for ME? Hey! I have JESUS! Why does your outpouring not go to BRENDY? He must have an awful lot of sore spots if I can rile him up without even trying. Who offers love to Brendy? Does that fall to me, too? How many Brendy's can I reach out to at one time with the limited time and energy and faith I have? Never mind wisdom and forebearance!

When the ugly stuff catches me off guard-- and it does, and it takes a lot of my resources (God's really) to work my way back to my MIND.... can't some of you, who say you love ME so much, go love-up the ones who are so nasty? I mean, PRAY for me, but WRITE to Brendy!

Yeah. That's what I want if you want me to be here. I want a Love Team that will spot the uglies and go love their socks off. Six good snugglers. PM me and sign up. Heck I can even train you. Yuh. If I knew you'd do that every time they come after me... I could just BE here.

What I hate most about this? IT MAKES ME GET CAREFUL. It scares me. It actually holds me back. And NOT in a good way. I hate it when that happens!

~S~