To add to the yuck factor, the first half of Cyrus's folly showed her dancing harmlessly with giant *teddy bears*.

Then she stripped down further and showed how she'd "grown up."

Get the picture? Doesn't every 14-year-old want to grow up?

(IRONY ALERT: Maybe next year's Awards will have pop stars *excreting* to music. I mean, somebody will think it's cool, so where's the harm? And the year after, gladiators! They're bored on death row, and most would prefer brief stardom to the needle any day. Let's all have some fun, MTV!)