I can't help but read your posts and hope that Tom knows how lucky he is to have you. Being a caregiver is probably one of the hardest jobs around and I think you are doing a fantastic job!!
Today I am feeling almost guilty. Jeremiah has been enrolled for a 2nd day of school each week. It's a gift from a family member who has decided I need a day to myself once a week to get my hair done, to go grocery shopping, to sleep, to read, to sew...anything I want...ALL BY MYSELF!!! I dropped Jeremiah off at school this morning, there was a substitute teacher there and he took one look at her, turned to me and cried. *big breath* I stayed for a few minutes to talk to him about his new teacher, answer questions about where his normal teacher is, to offer some encouragement that he would have fun with his friends and then I left...doing my best not to cry too. I know it's ridiculous and silly but leaving him there in tears...well...I hate doing that. I ran some errands in the area and called about 20 minutes later to check on him, resolved that if he was having issues, I'd go pick him up and that would be that. He was fine...outside playing with his friends. RELAX MOMMY!!!! Sheesh. I knew he'd be ok. I really did know that BUT...I had to check.
Anyway, errands have been run, I'm on the 2nd load of laundry, I have enough cucumbers sliced and chilling to make 16 pints of pickles, a new chili recipe ready to try out, a list of items I forgot on my first trip to the store and am only taking a break now because my body is demanding it. There are so many things I want to do but there will be other days like this.....yes..there will be. I'm not sure I like it but at least I'm being productive. I feel guilty that he isn't here with me because I am at home. There's no reason he shouldn't be with me. Gentle reminder to myself: School is good for him. He gets to play with other children. He is learning. School is good for him. In addition, some time alone is good for ME!!!!
Ok...so I have a vacuum cleaner to run, some floors to sweep and I'm going to use some of this time to make a mega grocery list as things are looking sparse around here.