"The Emotional Male"

One night a wife found her husband standing over their
newborn baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he
stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on
his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight,
amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions
it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms
around her husband.

"A penny for your thoughts," she whispered in his ear.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody
can make a crib like that for only $46.50!"

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"The Evolution Of Mom"

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood
also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways
having a second and third child differs from having your
first:

Your Clothes
-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as
possible.

-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
clothes.

The Baby's Name
-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice
pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your
great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and
see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth
-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

-2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you
remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette
-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-
coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's
little bureau.

-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries
-1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a
frown--you pick up the baby.

-2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.

-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the
mechanical swing.

Activities
-1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

-2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

-3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and
the dry cleaner.

Going Out
-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home 5 times.

-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you
remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only
if she sees blood.

At Home
-1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at
the baby.

-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure
your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
children.