4x2 is just fine. Nail the planks to a wall and the Christian to the planks. Sorted.

The cost of keeping lions these days is prohibitive what with vet bills, permits etc plus ensuring their diet is at least 70% ruminant. Other than the serendipity of bagging the odd vegan, you need to feed four wildebeest for every Christian.

No. Stick to the B&Q option. Far easier.