just a small question, when you was putting the circles of turf back did he keep shouting "green side up!!!"..

Green side up my arse, twatess. Do you honestly think we put the turf back right up to the trees? City girl, I take it?

However, let me enlarge (as the vicar said to the duchess). To me, as well as to the late, great John Seymour, turf is manure. These days I would break up the turf and incorporate it into the mix that goes into the planting hole, ensuring that the grass is sufficiently buried to prevent regrowth. And, if Eric Robson's listening, no I'm not free to join the panel as I go to both Mass and Benediction on Sundays before rushing home to catch Songs Of Praise.