Parotidectomies - partial on right, full on left. 3 days in hospital each time. I could have as much Jell-O, popsicles, ice cream, and juice and icewater as I wanted from the post-surgery ward fridge. You can lose weight on popsicles ya know. Cleaned em out between 5PM and 9PM the first evening. Gave my buddy $20 and said, "Popsicles." He said, "There's Jel..." I mumbled, "Fuck Jell-O. Popsicles." He was back from The Coop (a 90 second drive away) in less than 30 minutes.

Jell-O sucks. But it's fun watchin kids try to eat it with a straw.